Do Not Bleach

This past weekend I almost cost myself $300. I, actually Robyn, (but it was wholly due to my stupidity), washed my cell phone. Not washed like sprayed with water. Washed like spin cycle, heavy soil. Flashback: I couldn't remember where I set it. As I was calling my number to locate it, panic gripped me. I rushed over to the still warm Maytag. There, nestled at the bottom of the colorfast darks, was the soaked gadget. We went to the Verizon store to examine our options. Our options were to receive a barrage of "you should have bought insurance" from the condescending clerks. Just when I was thinking I should have sprung for their stupid insurance..."Hello Moto." The little guy started breathing. Goodbye, Clerk I-Told-You-So. After a stop at Auto Zone for some tiny tools and an hour of steady handed tinkering, my magic communicator was prepared to receive.

Apparently I have voided the warranty:

(b) contact with liquid, water, rain, extreme humidity or
heavy perspiration...are excluded from coverage.

Heavy perspiration? Where are you putting that phone?