You've Got Mail (unfortunately)

Sick of digging through pounds of junk mail? Me too. I completed my mission of getting our address removed from every available marketing list that I could find. Here are the results of my exhaustive phone, email, and letter campaign. You will not find a more comprehensive or accurate list on the internet. I guarantee it. Total time investment for you: 30 minutes. Total monetary investment: 37 cents. Don't worry, catalog shoppers, existing business relationships with your stores will not be harmed.

ADVO. They sell your name and address to local stores for inclusion of circulars with your mail. Usually accompanied with a missing kid postcard so they can meet addressing requirements. 860.285.6100

Trimerged credit opt out. For removal of your name and anonymous creditworthiness from all three bureaus. Click or call 888.5 OPT OUT.

Direct Marketing Association. This is the only letter you will need to mail, but definitely the most important. This is the secret password to get you off hundreds of lists you never even knew existed. It works, but give it about six months to see a reduction in junk mail. If you only do one on this list, this is the one.

Val-Pak Coupons. You will have to put in the delivery code from a mailing to get off their list. Sneaky little creatures, they are. 888.797.1896

Abacus, a Division of DoubleClick, Inc. They track you across the internet with cookies. Just put your name, address and OPT OUT in the message body. 303.410.5100

Acxiom CIMS. Same as Abacus.

AOL. If I get another stupid CD…The best about these idiots and their horrible service is that the kid asked me if I wanted to sign up for an account after I told him to take me off the mailing list. 800.605.4297

Publishers’ Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. Ed, you look even worse than your mailings.
800.645.9242

Haines and Company. Ask for Ms. Pat Lefferts. Get a kick out of her smoker’s voice.
800.254.3449

The trees thank you. And thanks to JunkBusters for getting me started.