1. The deficit. Buy more Zhu Zhu pets. They are manufactured somewhere in China. If we import more Jillys, Pipsqueeks, and Num Nums (but not Mr. Squiggles, he's on a terror watch list), we will bolster China's ability to continue to buy our debt. Sounds plausible.
2. The economy. Now that the dollar is completely worthless, merchants and retailers will begin accepting Chuck E. Cheese and Peter Piper tokens as legal tender. When pressed, she did not have an answer for whether or not merchants would also be required to accept skee-ball tickets.
3. Clean energy. "I like to have on all the lights, dada." We will continue to leave on every light and television, day and night, thereby increasing our demand for our nuclear-generated electricity. Ok, the end may justify the means.
4. Jobs. "You need to go to work, dada, so we can get money and coins." Spoken like true management. Labor obliges.
5. Healthcare. "I don't like going to the doctor. Kids don't need to go to the doctor." I'm not sure I agree with that.
Wait...oh my God. I think my daughter is a Republican.
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